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The World is My Oyster, But I Used the Wrong Fork!
The Princess Diaries + High Tea and Etiquette Training
In The Princess Diaries, Anne Hathaway plays 15-year-old Mia Thermopolis whose socially awkward teenage existence turns upside down when she suddenly learns that she is the princess of a small European country called Genovia. Mia's estranged grandmother, Queen Clarisse Renaldi (Julie Andrews), takes on the challenge of transforming her gawky, clumsy granddaughter into a young lady fit for the throne. As Mia decides whether to carry on the life of a San Francisco teen or step up to the life of a princess, she struggles with pantyhose, posture and proper table manners. At the same time, she finds herself struggling to maintain her close friendships and to discover the best in herself. Although no one doubted that Anne Hathaway would morph perfectly into a princess, the film (adapted from the highly popular novels by Meg Cabot) has fun putting a modern spin on the familiar fairy tale and our girls were starstruck by Hathaway's performance in her breakout performance as the teen princess.
If your family meals are anything like ours, the younger ones around the table more often resemble a pack of wild primates than descendants of royalty. After one too many of these dinner fiascoes (food on the floor, fingers instead of forks, napkins who-knows-where) we finally made good on our threats of reform and brought (well, dragged) our little monkeys to an Etiquette School for a dose of plain old-fashioned manners. Princess Diaries reminds us that good things happen when manners improve, and no question that the main draw for many was the "5-course dining tutorial," but our local manners tutorial also includes a delectable assortment of other topics: poise and posture, grooming, first impressions, telephone, punchbowl and party etiquette, as well the fine art of introductions. The Introductory Course culminates with the meal. One little girl reached into the water glass for a lemon wedge and started munching on it. A boy wiped his mouth with his shirtsleeve instead of his napkin, while another child ran his lips across his knife. "We don't suck on our utensils," our refined instructor reminded, as she gracefully made her way around the table, gently pulling back slumped shoulders, explaining the proper way to eat bread, the many uses of napkins (to wipe a mouth, to catch a sneeze), the complexities of wine glass sizes, bread plate positions and the use of chargers. Aside from learning to appreciate a full place setting as a work of art, our daughter also learned what she considered a very valuable trick: how to give your host the appearance of having eaten something you don't like!
Our Buttery Bits of Wisdom about this Film:
- Why It's Worth It: Anne Hathaway has grown from a gangling teen into a bonafide movie star, and our kids have grown up with her. This film offers a perfect demonstration of both her comedic gawkiness and her elegant maturity. The plot plays out predictably, much like the fairy tales from which it steals it's moves, but the casting is delectable for girls, in particular. Manners aside, the movie takes a somewhat serious look at the awkwardness of growing up and the value of a person's character.
- Red Flags: More kid friendly than appealing to adults but there's nothing offensive in this G-rated comedy.
- Further Viewing: While this film spawned a sequel (Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement), if your kids are interested in tea parties, try Alice in Wonderland or The Little Princess. Or, if they're intrigued by manners and decorum, there's nothing like watching Audrey Hepburn become a proper lady in My Fair Lady.
Our Tips for Talking with your Kids about this Film:
- Geography Savvy: There isn't really a country called Genovia; that was an invention of author Meg Cabot.
- Literary Savvy: The popular film and its sequel are both based on the book "Princess Diaries" by Meg Cabot. Cabot, who prolifically chronicles the ups and downs of the female consciousness from 4th grade through high school, was a fave in our household for many years. The Princess Diaries spawned dozens of sequels in book form but all her other books are worth investigating for fourth graders and older.
- Quote Savvy: Wanna know who said "The world is my oyster but I used the wrong fork?" Oscar Wilde
Manners Courses for Kids
High Tea in your city
Age Recommendation: six and up
Time Allotment: several hours
Our Buttery Bits of Wisdom about this Adventure:
- What Worked for Us: Whether you manage to locate a manners course, or your kids are attending Cotillion, we think it's easier to have someone else drill these details into your children than to keep nagging them. A local Introductory Course turned out to be a good place to start with our youngest ones. Our instructer cuts a less intimidating figure than Queen Clarisse Renaldi, but doles out very similar instruction. "Princesses never cross their legs in public," remarks Queen Clarisse, explaining instead how to tuck one ankle behind the other and place the hands gracefully on the knees. Under Ms. Gache's tutelage, the young girls in thecourse practiced this very same move; it was hard not to crack a smile as they pivoted before their chairs, sat down and attempted this awkward ankle crossing. There was plenty instruction for the boys too. As one mother said, "There's nothing like watching your son pull out a chair for someone and push it in." Hearkening back to a bygone era, your little ones will even learn some manners fit for royalty-the curtsy and the bow, for instance, and how to introduce the Queen of England.
- Your Kids May Wind Up Teaching You a Few Things: Here are a few tips we learned: To signal the end of the meal, pinch the center for the napkin and place it on the left side of your place setting; While it is considered bad manners to keep your elbows on the table while eating, your forearms are allowed on the table in between courses; When you break bread, tear off only a bite size piece; To signal to waiters that you are resting, use your fork and knife to make an inverted "V" on your plate. To signal the finished position, close your fork and knife together at an angle on your plat
- Great Books on Manners: No time for a class? Kate Spade has written an adorable set of Manners and Style guides. We also like the Smart Girls Guide to Manners.
Our City Editors' tips for enjoying this Popcorn Adventure around the USA:
- Anywhere: Google your city + Manners Courses, or Etiquette. Or, Google your city + Tea Rooms or High Tea
- Boston: Boston and Tea have a long, rich history with one another stemming back to 1773 when colonists through hundreds of boxes of tea into the harbor in protest of unfair "taxation without representation." Celebrate history at Boston's Mandarin Oriental Hotel, where you can sip tea beside a warm flreplace, savoring light scones, local lobster, and Vermont Cheddar. For an authentic high tea experience, visit Boston's Ritz Carlton, as well as the Langham, home to a famous chocolate bar, and The Taj for an impeccable taste of history.
- Chicago: For Tea in Chicago, Russian Tea Time is a must, snack on raisin scones and finger food, and of course for the adults only, the Eastern European tradition of vodka shots are not to be skipped--reservations are recommended. The Drake Hotel, The Peninsula, and the Ritz Carlton also serve high tea, but for something more homey, try the Bourgeois Pig which will leave you in a delicious food coma with its impressive menu.
- Houston: Club Etiquette offers private/group lessons and camps for kids aged 4-18. With a mission of giving children tools to develop into self assured young leaders, the "sophistikid" program aims to help children handle a variety of social situations with ease and grace. Each class is carefully thought out to teach subjects such as greetings, conversation, dining manners, teas, telephone manners and respect for self and others, to name only a few. Check in with founder GiGi Lewis to schedule your lessons today.
- New York: New York offers a steamy selection of tea rooms for your enjoyment, ranging from Alice's Tea Cup, a kid friendly tea room on the upper west side, to Tea & Sympathy in Greenwich Village, which transports you to Britain with its authentic Fish & Chips. For a zen experience, relax at Franchia, Manhattan's tea oasis which boasts vegetarian cuisine with asian influence.
- San Francisco: Luxuriate with friends with tea time at these San Francisco hot spots. For a refined time the best destinations are the Ritz Carlton, where you can enjoy a two course meal of delicate sandwiches and dessert, and the King George and Fairmont Hotels, both serving up an elegant time while visitors are surrounded by beautiful frescoes and the music of classical harpists. Click here for more on Tea Time in San Francisco.
- Washington, D.C.: After you've worked up an appetite with all that site seeings, stop over at CocoLibre for a casual and healing cup of herbal tea. For the full tea time experience, The Mansion Tea Room and the Shanghai tea house (known for its bubble tea and famous scallion pancakes) serve up sweet and classic blends. As always, the local five stars like the Ritz and the Four Seasons will serve you tea like a member of the royal family.
